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is currently an undergraduate student, and coping with her overwhelming commitments. I like long walks in solitude, cosy chats, usually sleep like a log, and beg your patience in tolerating my versatile humour

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

" PW makes us all sinners"

Well, that sentence doesn't really apply to my group, but I guess it brings out all the nasty/ugly/wicked sides of group mates which we never knew existed. Sometimes, it really makes me wonder why we even need to take this dreaded PW component. Firstly, its majorly timeconsuming and a whole bucketload of paperwork, not to mention a wastage of resources. Everyone ends up getting flustered, worked into a frenzy and a severe hair loss not to mention messed up internal clocks from the irregularity of sleepless nights. We get annoyed, irritable and snap at the most mundane of things sometimes to the extent of jeopardising our relations with each other.

But then again, maybe it does have its saving grace.

We learn to face up to the reality of deadlines. We learn not to defend ourselves in the face of criticism, but instead act on it and minimise our weaknesses. We learn to tap into the comparative advatages of our group members and reach a symbiotic relationship where we learn from each other. And in the process, we grow as one.

I just came to realise how thankful I am for my PW group, it's really awesome. Everyone does their part, and are willing to spend long hours doing it. Like how last night, all of us stayed up till the wee hours of dawn to fine tune the slides. Which Mrs Hoe did not like, btw. She said the background was too dark:/ Constructive criticism, I guess. But it does, in certain ways, demoralise. I hope we do well after all the effort time and resources we've channeled into it.

Tuesday, come quick.

Does it have to end this way?
Did we journey together this far, sharing all those laughter, happy memories, pain, tears of sorrow, grave misunderstandings, and yet sweet friendships that have withstood the test of time, to come to this crossroads?
Perhaps there is a reason why this happens.
Perhaps, there is a deeper reason why God would want to make our paths meet here, now, at thi special point in time.
Maybe it's so I can learn what really makes the world go round.
God's promise is the rainbow, a sort of reassurance that there will be sunshine after the rain. Likewise, I like to think that its the diversity of each of our uniqueness that has brought us together; the different colours that merge to form a spectacular display of visual feasts. It is in fact the diverse personalities/characters that shape the rainbow of Eleven to form a beautiful work of art ( we are an Arts class) even after the storms of turbulences this past year.
I'm just feeling depressed that some of them won't be around to witness this marvel next year.
But I guess this is all part of God's major plan, because He should know what is good for you-I bet he's just waiting for you to make the decisions which your heart wants to.
Maybe it's for me to stop listening to my heart and let my head decide for once.
I should move on, no matter what happens.

We were strangers, starting out on a journey.

Again, point format. Ha, I bet you felt the dejavu.

Sat-Class CIP. This time, I got rid of the Indian punctuality and actually left the house in time, considering that breakfast was on the go. Oh gosh, I think the MRT ride to CCK actually rekindled my love for long travelling times. It was enjoyable not to enter a crowded train for once and to have the liberty of half an hour fully devoted to contemplative thoughts that arise. The yellow tiles of tp, the graceful flight of birds over the waters of Khatib, the sprawling lands (wow I thought land was always scarce) of the peripheries, were actually springboards from where I stopped to smell the roses. Had the time to think and brood over alot of things that's been happening lately. Of which many weren't exactly heartening, if you ask me.
I thought about the mouse, but it was just a fleeting one.
I thought about how our class is slowly falling apart, and the inevitable absence of certain classmates whom I hold dear): Sometimes, I can't help but think where God is in all these things. Is there perhaps a reason as to why all this is happening? Is this the mysterious work of some diving omniscient metaphysical presence which I have yet to comprehend? I sure hope so. I hope that there is some silver lining to my clouds of doubt, and that I'll find the happy ending I'm looking for. Sometimes I can't help but cry.))):
But I digress.
CIP was really rewarding, in both senses. We managed to collect truckloads of newspapers/clothes/appliances. Plus, this isn't a racist comment, but the Malay residents were especially warm to us. At one house particularly, the lady was so kind to give me cans of Coke, which I politely refused, but she absolutely insisted on me taking it. Lunch was at KFC as Greenridge shopping centre, a very heartland-ish mall. We managed to cover about 11 blocks but by then it was already like six in the evening and we were uber tired. And slightly emo too, I guess, since it was the last time our class was gonna be officially together.):): Trainride home with Aiming and Arthur. We were super tired, actually sat on the floor between the carriages.
Today-PW day. Had some prob initially with settling whose house to go, but met at Taka first to video the venue and all. Then off to Hougang to meet Kath and Cheryl, where we ate lunch at this rather Chinese-themed kopitiam. Pricey, if u ask me. Took a bus to to her place (omg she lives in a condo) at 4. I nearly got a heart attack when my comp hanged on me but seren fixed it. We didn't take the video of the puppets): Not very productive sesssion today, and I'm getting worried about the nearing deadline looming ahead. Darn. We haven't even worked out our speeches. But I guess we have the outline of the slides, so good enough for now.

This is a really depressing post, just look at the amt of sad emoticons. School ends in two days, damn.
):

I don't even know whether you even care.

If I had but one word to desribe this past two weeks, it'd be WHOA.
Honestly.
I've been through a minefield of emotions and the experienced the most strenous workout ever that would put Atkin's diet loss programme to shame. But I'm afraid that time is one luxury that I do not have as always( yes, even after promos mind you) so I shall have to condense the past week's happenings into the dimensions of my blog space.

Sat- Class CIP. We had to travel to some LRT station called Jelampang which is like oh so far away from civilisation. Train ride alone took 1 hour plus (Good Lord) but it was worth every minute. I actually enjoyed knocking on the doors of complete strangers on the morning of Hari Raya (gosh, this sounds sadistic) and telling them about the Interact Club's endeavours for OCIP. And wow, I actually managed to converse in my rather rusty Tamil to the Indians around. Wow I am actually socially adept. And the whole running up and down HDB blocks was quite laborious, agreed, but it was quite enjoyable since it involved most of the class. After the whole distribution of flyers ended, I took the MRT back with Seren to Far East where we had chicken rice! Mind you, it was one heck of a chicken rice that sends you to heaven. And I got earrings (haha, see I never learn my lesson not to buy those flimsy cheapo accesories).

Sun- Class gathering at Rina's. Oh boy oh boy oh boy, her house is a freakin' palace I tell you. Everything seems so niceprettyglossyshinyexpensivehighclass affleunt. Quite intimidating at first, but I did get used to it. It was a potluck affair so everyone brought a little smth and though not all of us did dress according to the Glamourous theme, it was a very memorable gathering, given this was my first proper outing with 11. I ate enough otakotak to cause major fish stock depletion in the Indian ocean. And I absolutely enjoyed the Truth or Dare plus the I Neh! games in her room. Goes to show that everyone has their own dirty little secrets and skeletons in the closets whatnots. Would have loved to stay longer, but parents arrived too soon. BOO.

Mon- went for my long overdue ear appt at TTSH. Bad news, just as suspected. After the basic hearing tests, the doctor said I'm slightly deaf in my right ear from the infection and have to come back for a scan in a month's time to see if there's any improvement. Damn. I really hope my hearing isn't screwed up.

This week: (omg, I hate how my posts are sadly, in point form nowadays)
1) Results Week. I dunno whether this is really a good thing or bad. The school spirit is so freakin emo now, just cant feel the sprightly vibes any more when I walk past classes. To aggravate the situation the J2s arent exactly around either. I'm really worried and concerned about those who couldn't make it. Already, 11 has been plagued with all the usual underperformance commments and all that, but I feel somewhat judgemental here, when I say that some people don't really deserve the things they are gg thru. God works in mysterious ways that I find unfathomable. It's unfair how people who studied their brains out months before promos started now have to face the option of leaving the school, while the gift of promotion went to others, undeserved. The nagging thought of dropping Geog perturbs me occasionally, with the other voice telling me that I should stick to my current subjects as it is. Already, the pain of loneliness gnaws at me, what with the departure of a beloved classamate, and the potential dismissal of another. All I can do now is perhaps, to have faith, like what I've told you to do. Perhaps I should practise what I preach now, instead of brooding over dark morbid thoughts at the prospects of your absence. Sigh, what a sorrowful close to the school year.

Random Rant:
Well, as you all know, everyone's entitled to their little BMWing sessions so they can vent all that pent up feelings they've bottled up before it explodes violently and self-destructively. So now, ladies and gentlemen, presenting to you the female dogginess of Moss:
Omg, I don't mean to sound vindictive or downright evil whatsoever, but I think that you totally deserved what you got. You reap what they sow, they say. And yes, touche. I guess this is retribution for being the uncommitted, unreliable, irresponsible, attitude-showing _____ you are to us. And to think that all the while I was acutally rooting for you, even when the rest lost hope on you. To think that I was always giving you the benefit of the doubt, to reassure others, to remind myself to be patient with you even in the most exasperating of times. Well, I'm almost overwhelmed, appreciative even, by the "kindness'' that you
ve repayed me with. And your attitude today at the Econ lec was the last straw. I hope one day you realise what a great pain in the neck you've been this year, and hope you feel REMORSE for it.


Oh gosh, I really hope all this ends well.
Give me hope, God, give me faith.
Give me eleven.

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. In love, you express your emotions through actions.Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well! At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

If you say so.

I always thought the promos were bad enough. But now, I beg to differ. There'e something that's even worse and far more agonizing than that. It's the waiting for your results thats the killer. I kid you not. This week has been pretty much hell for me, what with all the not so subtle hints about how badly we did and how high the failure rate is. Terrible. It's really horrible, having this repeated jabbing and "gnawing at my innards'', as Othello puts it, courtesy of all the teachers. The fear of retaining, is now more than ever, at its peak. Seriously, I'm really considering my options now, or rather the lack of it. How daunting the wait is.


The promos week was a mentally draining period, undoubtedly, but this week has really taken a toll on me physically. I think its rather the lack of exercise that I've failed to engage in ever since God knows when, because I felt sore all over while we were practising mass dance aft sch. To quote Jacq, like some sore loser. I actually felt pain in my musles(wait do i even have those?) in previously dormant areas and this was further aggravated by the briefing of the tour for open house this week around the school. Honestly, I have NEVER known about the gate thing near the back staircase that actually leads to the tennis courts and the science blocks(omg, we have a science block?!) Goes to show how ignorant I am, haha. Everyone was like, "Of couse you know nothing about this place, you neither play tennis nor have sci prac aft sch" To which I could only muster a feeble "Oops?" Lol.


Been staying back this whole week in preparation for CJC Open House, this Friday, 2pm onwards till 6! Haha, hope that was a discreet enough hint for the juniors. Heh.


On a random note, I feel so cheated today. I thought we were gg Geyland today to see the lightups like we usually do during the Hari Raya season. But no, apparently there was a change of plans of which I was not informed. Which makes me feel rather, ill-informed?

Like hello, why do you even think I didnt go for council today even though council time spent is like the best way to end school and had to come home superearly and totally wait for them to come home. And then what happens? Nothing. Do we go out? No, we just stone in front of the TV. What do we do? Nothing. Did they tell me about the change of plans? No, they didnt. >:(

Sigh.

I need to get out of the house more often, I just realised that Im calmer when Im out with my friends or councilling. It should be on a regular basis. At least that way, I can be ignorant of all the problems that certain ppl tend to give me or rather the emotional stress that I get just thinking about all the atrocities they are up to. Bloody irritating pest.

On a random note, I suspect Im getting fatter. Seriously. I thnk my fats are like growing by the dozens even as I blog. Sigh. I actually felt sore after the mass dance workout and the debrief of the tour ard the school la. Sore muscles(wait do i even have those?) were like aching like mad, I just zonked out the moment i reached home. And Open house is tmr, oh man, I hope I can rmber all my steps. And find a partner in time. Dont want to dance alone.
Weekend is hectic.
Life's tough, I should get over it.
Awaiting math results tmr. Oh God, please dont let it ruin my weekend.

Aiming
Beans
Carmen
Cereal Tossers
Deborah Faith
Hao Wen
Jacq
Joel
Marie
Ngee Derk
T Lo

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