A voice was heard in Ramah.

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Jocelyn A. Monique

is currently an undergraduate student, and coping with her ~~overwhelming~~ commitments. I like long walks in solitude, cosy chats, usually sleep like a log, and beg your patience in tolerating my versatile humour

Friday, April 04, 2008

8:11 PM

And there with the ebb and flow of the tide

there I go

there I go again

never I hope

but somehow, always.

They say Hurricane Katrina was a disaster, but honestly, I've been through worse. Somehow even in the eye of a storm, people are comforted and reassured by the peace and serenity that surrounds, but me being the cynical bitter self that I am, I just know for a fact that the quiet is an anticipation of foreboding doom. And this week was doom because firstly, of the pressing issues at home, and secondly, the sudden pressure to drop 4H2s. And of all days, Brother decided to break the news to us on April Fools. Initially, I was seriously debating whether or not to skip school because of my exhaustion from 2.4 but I decided that it's probably the only time I'd ever get to prank the school and thus I dragged my weary self out of bed that fateful morning. Giggles were stifled aplenty as all the councillors pinned our collar pins and golden gleamies on the other side of our uniform. Although the reaction we had hoped from students was far from overwhelming, I was nonetheless amused that Mr Tan had actually checked the morning assembly people before we walked up. Unfortunately, that state of fool-induced high was short-lived when Brother dropped the bombshell on us. Although I do complain and whine incessantly about my pathetique (a la Mr Tay) Geography grades, I was not demoralised to the point when I had seriously considered dropping it. Sigh. Thank you, lovely friends, for showing such heart-warming concern and sincere sympathy towards me when I was in my emotionally unstable worst this week, especially my classmates and councilmates and exclassmates and all th e teachers that I spoke to. And yeah, much as I do have a choice in keeping my H2s, somehow something tells me that I have simply too much on my plate and it's going to take a major miracle to pull my grades from Ses and Us to a decent C by MYE. Yucks. Hate how thing are going at the moment. Seriously.
Not to mention the delays in Easter, but I guess it's diplomatic to keep my mouth shut about it. Too much high strung tension in council now, and sadly CA too, and I don't wish to contribute to it. Now that I reflect back on this week, I think about karma being its bitter self-since I wanted to fool the school and ended up being the greatest fool instead. Haha. There are way too many happenings lately and I'm afraid I'm drifting from Him. Prayers are hurried nowadays and the mind wanders during masses. Somehow I'm just impatient that my requests are unanswered, but I hope that He is really looking out for me, if not always in the way I expect (recall Mrs Hoe
s SD lesson on stress management). I wish I could as fervent and pious in my ways like the people around me, and this is really a test of faith - hope I don't score a U for this too.

Corridor chancings and unexpected glimpes are turning out to be more awkward than I thought. Too bad some people couldn't keep their mouths shut and put me through this torment. As if I'm not going through enough already.

Oh and just in case I don't blog for the next days,
Happy 18th Birthday Fishy! My beloved best friend/classmate/councilmate, I pray that you are able to unwind and bask in the denturing glory of your braces. Don't chew the grass and don't drop your dentures; instead smile and enjoy your special day! God bless(:

Shoutout to Nikki: Thank you for the note and the Hello Panda - I am very touched by your gesture. Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how BIG your God is! I'd try to keep that in mind.

And now, if you would excuse me, the weekend is waiting to be wasted.

Going with the flow,
moss.

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