
I am still pretty much upset over last night. Maybe this is why my grades pale in comparison to my up and coming classmates. Thank you, Jason and Fripps, for always keeping me company during my darkest hour(s). Talking to both of you at insane timings is therapy, almost like mutton soup for the Indian soul.
It's very aggravating how I can't talk to you like we used to anymore, simply because you think I'm hurt by what the others said about us. Well I'm not. Really. I wish our conversations these days weren't so guarded. Why do you even bother about what the rest think.
Phototaking today for class and 33rd. Brought back memories of 1t11, when we actually had guys in the class and Vid. 33rd phototaking coincidently had Marie, Jacq and I at the exact same positions we had during our installation last year. I feel like a wrinkled old granny whenever I remember things like that, how it was so last year.
I'll sing you, you like an old love song.
Why is everything falling apart at the most inconvenient of times, God?
Impeccable timing.
Finally home resting after such a happening week.
Tuesday was stepping down, or uninstallation of 33rd for morning assembly. Quite sad for me and I'm sure for many, for all the memories we had. If I went on, it'd be full of cliches, but it's true - the best things in life are often cliches. Naturally, Shan cried after which kind of had a domino effect. Then camwhoring outside SCC with our Coveted Golden Badge, as Piong puts it, with wings and omg I like the photo we got. Really good lighting, and we all look so happy (:
At night, it was the 34rd Installation so I did first reading. Very nervous, nearly had heart attack cos I thought I was late (Dejavu to 2007) but thank God no. Met alot of IJ juniors who are now councillors in NJ and TJ. Smart-asses, all of them. It's nice to know some things remain unchanged in a world that is constantly changing. But went home earlier and couldn't join Toon and Cherie and the rest for Island Creamery :/ Bus ride home was a little pensive, now that we are officially uncouncillors. No more CA room, no more talk male hen sessions, guffaws of laughter during feeding time, Mr Yeow's outbursts of hilarity, Mrs Leong's motherly acceptance of our irrationality, Salim getting distracted while trying to coordinate meeting. Needs a little getting used to.
Thursday was Racial Harmony Day. Embarrasingly, I was the only one who wore my costume on the bus. Really panicked when everyone else was in half-uni, thought I had the day wrong. Even John from IG27 didn't recognise me. Haha. And felt really proud of him when he said he wanted to be Facil next year. Most of my classmates dressed up, which was heartening, but they changed back for the lectures, which was not so heartening. Boo.
Friday and Satuday was Retreat. AWE-SUM. Group mates unexpectedly alot of guys (waa this is like Singapore Sports School without the girls hor *miah the facil*)- but they were really funny. Especially John the converted racist with all his wise-unwise cracks on a certain ethnic group. And Mark and Nigel trying to restore his former conditions. Girls are really nice too, kind of know them but not on a personal level. Was actually quite irritated cos I was the only one from my class attending, but oh well. Made lots of new friends whom were initally acquaintances which is good. Roommates nice too. I thought the sessions were definitely simple yet effective, not the full-blown mind-draining sort but light. Plus the whole movements around at night. Boys will be boys eh. Not to mention the girls too, whom I almost walked into next morning, sound asleep along the extended block corridor. Haha. I thought the reconciliation was good, cos I never could imagine pouring out my entire sobstory to a complete stranger. Somehow got the courage to write your name and yours on the paper to burn it. Wonder what goes on in your head, maybe should just give you the benefit of the doubt. I just told God, everytime in His time and part of His plan. Anw Fripps already said not to worry too much.
Jason very sweet, got us all personalised self-inking stamps as our parting CA gift. He spends money like my dad uses water at home. Gosh. Miss CA alot ):
Sunday today, school tmr.
and you know the part where your passion and God's will intersects , well that's God's plan for you.
Handover on Friday was a little pensive if not emotional for some of us CA wingers. After rehearsal, we gathered in the prayer room and welcomed the 34th in our geisha like sitting positions (let me add that it was I, who influenced everyone -beams). Then the usual slide transitions and reflection/sharing, followed by the exchange of gifts -which I'm sure the 34th found amusing. Like the broom, which was to always clean up after your act. And I thought it was awfully sweet of the juniors to buy Ribena for us as well - bows to whoever came up with the significance.
"well, er Ribena is er sweet. yeah! and er, you feel refreshed, and er it's full of vitamin C..you know..C for CA wing!"
I wasn't exactly feeling anything after the whole ceremony ended, and that perturbs me. Seeing camslut leave the room just so she could cry and the CA girls feeling all touchy-huggy and me just sitting alone in the corner, hmm. I'd probably feel it on Wed when I can't access the room anymore in my post-installaton woe. But as Fripps put it,
"always look at the bright side of life.we're just victims of time..no choice but to let go of an experience so dear to us"
I want to be a child. Throw a tantrum maybe. Get my way. Be assertive and control the outcome for once in my pathetic life. Only I can't. Might as well get used to harsh unforgiving reality.
PTM was okay. Ms Yang is obviously much kinder and sympathetic compared to Mrs Hoe. But I would rather have a nice wake up call from the latter. I'm sure she wouldn't have disappointed me. Walked over to Novena with Ma and she was in her good mood so she bought me Pearly Bandung Soyabean from Mr Bean. Or was it Jollibean, can't remember. I wish she could be more happy and peaceful like that, so she won't get her breathless attacks.
I felt God's presence this week, despite my dwindling attendance at Mass. In my class for example during the vectors test on Friday which was SUPPOSED to be test conditions, but obviously everyone just started each other how to do what we couldn't. I mean, like everyone totally helped each other and it was all really symbiotic and heart-warming. And also through the re-entry of a friend who I had vowed to help out in my promise during Lenten Vigil, you know who you are (: Not forgetting the people who are constantly cheering my up with their words of encouragement ie Fripps and Marie, or even cracking me up ie Matt and Bigboss. Just remembered sms convo with Matt while I was stressing out over my reflection for handover.
"Ello, rehearsal tmrw is at 245. Pls be punctual. Thanks"
"Cannot"
"Can. See you there. Nod"
"Got maths test la, end late. Aiya, I don't step down hor. Be Minister Menthor for 34th"
"Just rush, fly or smth. Nope, since you are a girl, it's Ministress Menthos" (wth)
"I'm not a girl, not yet a women. You should know, Britney. Oh and I saw Mr Cutebird today in church!"
"Diao -.- whatever you say, to the left to the left. Lol, was he distractingly cute and irresistible"
"Idiot, that's not a Britney song. Yeah he was so cute I voted for him a million times on So You Think You Are Cute"
"It is! Or at least I think it is. Oh he's got a wonderful million vote/volt fan like you to replace his aircon. I think that's enough deprivation of walking for a night. See you tmr then"
HAHAHA. Thank you Momma Chua, for all your moments of lameness (:
Still think about you. Did you know that there are more love songs with the word "You" than the word "Love"?
Need to pull myself together, slap myself awake, gear into mugging mode. Or at the very least, finish uncompleted work. I have a Econ, Geog and Math test this week. Please keep me in your prayers thank you.
Finally got my laptop serviced and running! (: Here's an update of the week.
On Monday, I met up with Fran and Gill in town. Had brunch at Toast in a ulufied corner of Taka, which I had happened to know through Thrishna. Fran recomended the Chicken Caesar sandwich, so I had a go and it was really filliing in a good way. Plus it was quite cosy just sitting in the empty place (workday morning, obviously) and chitchatting. And it's sad to know racism still exists, even in the supposedly elite schools which churn out the bright sparks. Ain't that sad. If I were you dear, I'd totally let her know how I feel about it. Then Evelyn popped by so it was like mini sec 4/free period girls gathering. We walked to Taka basement and talked some more before we were craving ice cream so we went to Azabu Sabo Hokkaido ice cream! And sampled almost like the whole selection. They had this new flavour called Caramel and Sea Salt(together) which sounds totally funky, and Fran apparently fell in love with it after sampling. And I got Milk Tea, which was pretty good too. Then Gill, who still hasn't grown out of her Neo Prints phase, abosolutely insisted that we had to take photos for memory sake. So, we went over to Cine and posed like cute little kawaii neh girls in the booth (which due to technological progress had a MOVING platform and wind for hair effects). The wind effect didn't really work. Haha. Being the noobs that we were, we coudn't finish editing the photos on time so yeah that explains:
Lovely time spent with you freeperiodgirls! (: Still rmber the crazy stuff we did in the library at Thomson!
Friday was Council Formation for the 33rd. Good job to Joel Shan and Andrew who organised it(: Montage brought back alot of memories, and I think the sharing was quite funny too. Plus the affirmation totally screamed CA haha, but one could feel the council spirit (different from council ghost haha if ever there is one) while we were on each other's backs, penning stuff. Thank you 33rd, for being such an integral part of my life. Through all the saikang, planning, getting it approved, sorting out logisitics, ugly confrontations, emotional outbursts, conflict of ideas, warm affirmations of friendships, listening ears, laughing 5 inches off your waistlines, receding hairlines of certain teachers, and the shiok post-eventmoments, you guys are my everything. It's CA and council that is the highlight of every week -be it morning masses, refusing to budge out of the SCC after assembly, or just ROFLing around, I really enjoy coming to school because of you guys. It's been a memorable journey and I'm pretty sure all of us have grown in more ways than one. Teachers, thank you for you unwavering support and guidance, and tolerating all lame moments.
This really made me cry last night :/ But there was other stuff at home too that wasn't very nice, so yeah combined effects =major mood out plus fatigue. I know that I shouldn't be sad that it's over, but be glad that it happened. But it's very hard to let go of something you've gotten so close to. Not to mention that practically all my tight buddies in council are gonna leave Singapore upon graduation. (looks pointedly at certain individuals) I don't even want to think about year end, let alone council term ending ):
Whinewhinewhine, this is all I've been ever doing. Seriously, Jocelyn. Get a grip on yourself and stop being so pessimistic.
Today's CIP was slack, only washed clothes for like half an hour. Then all the residents were going off to the Singapore Flyer + volunteers cooking lunch = nothing to do. We ended up going to town at Shaws to eat brunch and have sarcastic rebuttals (very phallic in nature) before I left with Bigboss.
On a random note, I forgot to eat my tablets for 2 days already. Because I end up falling asleep or I am appalled by its very taste. People with good complexion are VEH lucky. I think I know more weird names of medicines to beat Offred at Scrabble la. Doxycycline. Differin. Dalacin. Yucks.
Oh no, GSS is ending and I haven't gone shopping yet ): Looking out for nice flats/sneakers and shorts. Heehee.
It's been 3 to 5 working days already, and I still have yet to receive any update on my laptop. Customer service my foot. Bah. This marks the end of the first school week, and already there's so much to catch up on. My maths results are very the digusting, despite studying the mostest hardestest for it and all the tuition/consultation/library sessions. Oh, life is such a vending machine. No matter how much you put in, you don't always get what you want.
School has been otherwise quite fun (minus all the pep talks and the youshouldbestudyingyourassoff signals from teachers). Backed out of NUS Stats competition cos I figured I'd be workload overload. Learning some new dance for PE. It's quite hilarious actually, cos the lady (whom I suspect is a trained belly dancer) looks so graceful compared to us. Like the passing the oyster movement and the washing the side wall movement. Hahaha. And with Bob as my dance partner, who insists that I should be more expressive when referring to the moon aka him. Not to mention whacking my hands (on purpose) during the chorus. Immature. And Andrew who poked fun at me cos I kept dancing the guys' part.
Friday was Alfresco, a bigBIG success thanks to Miss SYT, who headed it (: CA set up a booth selling s'mores, donuts and Merlion chocolates. And I had to fan the charcoals for like the longest time so as to keep the fire going to grill the kopitiam bread and the marshmellows. I honestly think I have severe long term health costs from the smoke inhalation. But oh well. And Matt has a unique sense of humour.
(selling donuts)
Girl: Ooo donuts! What's in them?
Matt: Flour and chocolate.
Haha.
Enjoyed the performances put up too, alot of the facils strummed/sang which was good. Then there was movie screening of Little Rascals during which, yes you guessed it, council debrief. Somehow I am most reluctant to step down, not when Mr Leong said we were cohesive together. I really love everyone in 33rd, and I guess it's sad that it had to end just when we are getting super tight ):
Saturday was facil bbq! Turnout not bad, Mr Tan was (is) kind enough to sponsor all the food and clean up after us, which made me feel very guilty. Pity more girls didn't turn up, but food was awesome. And yeah no prizes for guessing who fanned the fire again. Haha. Double smoke inhalation.
Today, I met Francoise for the healing youth rally. Although it started later, and we being kiasu turned up wayyy early for it, it was awesome (: Fr Simon always works his magic. Somehow it just feels good, that no matter how much ___ you may be going through, God always works through the people we meet to help you out. It's amazing really. Like sometimes we think God will come in some majestic way like a shining knight on a mighty stallion, but no - it's always in some discreet way like through a friend but we don't always notice it. Like how on Fri I was a bit late for morning mass (it was 708) so I didn't feel like going, but lo and behold, I was on the bus with Jess! And she wanted to go for mass too, so being the exemplary senior that I should be, we went together (late). Father was already into his sermon, but let's not get into details. Point is, God wanted me to go for mass, regardless of whether I was late :D
So yup, keep your eyes and heart open to witness the small miracles of God, instead of waiting for a major sign and missing everything that He put in your way. Gosh I am so inspired right now I could get started on my Econs essay instead of being entertained by MSN.
Could, not will.
Happy Youth Day!
Muse Muse: The Lion, the Devil, and the Spider by Kate Nash
Beans
Carmen
Cereal Tossers
Deborah Faith
Hao Wen
Jacq
Joel
Marie
Ngee Derk
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