A voice was heard in Ramah.

This cat is HDB approved.

Paper chase?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

11:38 AM

Last night, after I got home from my first Fuel session which btw was wow you can feel the energy vibes from the youth there, I talked on the phone with an old friend for an hour. Just a simple catch up, exchange of words, the usual teasing and all. And alot of random thoughts ran through my mind as usual. Like how we went through about a decade plus of the famous education system and now that we are finally freed and out, I don't really see us applying much of what we learnt in theory. How many of us actually apply Euler's formula in work? Or say, gaze at the rocks along your pathway during a stroll and ponder oh whether it's igenous/sedimentary/metamorphic. Going for work has kind of opened my eyes and made more aware of the things that I don't know. Ironic, considering how would you know what you don't know right? Gone is the regularly structure of the class, where we relatively do live in our own fishbowl with guidance in the form of regulated authority through the teacher or the organisation of the school, and what we discuss or are aware about is restricted to the knowledge of our classmates and teachers. Here in the coporate world, things are different. There's not much of a structure now, or people to guide and correct you. It's more like a undignifed stumbling across the trail - not even a path because not everyone has trodden on it - and picking up along the way. Not everyone is nice to you, simply because they are not obligated to. And the politics? Don't get me started on it. I feel quite guilty and confused at the same time of what position I should take in it all - whether a passive bystander who tries not to offend anybody, or an activist who effects change by ruffling a few feathers of the superiors. On one hand, it's not my business. On the other hand, if it annoys you and you deeply regard it as something that ought to be corrected, isn't it right to stand up for what you believe in? Well about time I suppose, having had a sheltered growing up, now I have to speak my mind with tact of course, and make some decisions by myself.

And of course, I always ask myself - after slogging your asses out for almost half your life, is our fate reduced to some regular hours decent-paying desk bound job? Are we all going to turn out yuppies with comfortable houses, some kids, a dog maybe and a super huge housing loan to pay off. I'd like to entertain the possibilty that there's more out, a larger purpose, reason for being which we can lend ourselves to. Or maybe, I just don't know how to be content with what we already have.

Oh I intend to take up a new language - just trying to boil it down to a few options though. Since the idle mind is the devil's workshop and the months of November and December plus workplace has officially dwindled my vocabulary haha, and who knows maybe it might help in my future career, whatever that may be. Gosh I'm so lacking ambition.