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is currently an undergraduate student, and coping with her overwhelming commitments. I like long walks in solitude, cosy chats, usually sleep like a log, and beg your patience in tolerating my versatile humour

So much for hiatus huh, I really didn't want my fingers to stray but it's been an emotional week of sorts so I felt the need to blog.
I am very grateful to God that just listening to my instincts and attending mass can really lify my mood: from a week of avoiding people and sitting around for long long hours in skool to a much lighter mood as the week ended. Of course, because it's always tradition, I just had to fall sick one week before my papers with the lemon tea spam and the cold dungeons of the S'pore -Msia Collection. That is not the point though.
I am getting a bit scared because I am starting to be dependent on you.
I am also, annoyed time again by same problem that Fishy and I always encounter : Sometimes I think the issue is maybe not others, but ourselves because we wish to respect social blah and be nice, diplomatic but it totally sucks, when others don't get the message.
Just be self-sufficient, can. It is not our problem whether you wish to skip classes/lectures/tutorials whatEVER. It is however, our problem when you keep bugging us to borrow our materials which we conscientiously copied for attending rightfully and it's not like you were unwell or something or had to rush a deadline. Hello. Have a conscience and stop being so shamlessly dependent on others for your own advantage. If you were so deeply concerned about missing out you would have gone in the first place.
Other than that.

I think my job deserves an overdue post since I've been at it for about 2-3 months already.
I am Jocelyn, Usher, UCC. (curtesy)
I can't say I'm deeply in love with it - it's sort of like an arranged marriage that I forced myself into but I guess it just has to grow on you. I didn't like it at first, because I am loner_ahlian but I guess there are others who feel like that too so it's not that bad - hell it's only 3-4 hours each time anyway.
But people like Andy make it bearable and gradually enjoyable - watching out for you, taking the trouble to make conversation with a painfully mute person like myself, reminding me to take re-entry slips. I am awfully forgetful : Last week I worked twice and the last event was Killah because I was posted alone omg, kids running around + impatient parents + annoying latecomers = GG. As a result of my painfully laborious process of tripping the stubs, the queue escalated until Alvan had to rush down and help out. I was so sad. My learning curve is like, really. Slow.
The one thing I like about my job is that during the period of no contact I can gaze into oblivion all I want, with the occasional "Sudah makan?" to the cleaners and security uncle. Oh, did I mention that I also get addressed in Malay? Conversations tend to be recycled because each post holds a new senior and they usually lose interest.

Other than that.

I think today I learnt a painful lesson on why I prefer to study alone. Today's lesson was even more painful because it was taught by a friend.
Please kill me I am emo as nemo. Even buying the Seventeen magazine did not cheer me up.

So a mixture of things happened lately,
and I'm quite depressed as of now.

Change of plans, totally suck.

Hiatus.



She liked the sound of his voice. The deep resonance, crackling steadily through a long distance call. To curl up on bed on a cold rainy night and listen to the familarity, in the unfamiliarity of this new world.

He looked forward to calling her. In the confines of that prison, with the long shadows of the day towering and closing in like mighty walls. To keep in contact with the only civilisation that existed, that he knew of.

A typical love story?
How wrong you are.
There was nothing typical about it, mainstream mudane commonality. No, typical would have meant cliche and cliche would have been the old fashioned romance so often sought after in many a chick lit book, and this wasn't it. Neither was it a story, for a story would have been a mere representation of what was happening, just another once upon a time and a happily ever after.
This wasn't a silly teenybopping romance with the moonlight serenades and secret rendevous. With the indie soundtrack and the raving reviews.

He fought for The Cause, classifed information and secret alliances in that underground network. It wasn't Fear that kept them below. Bravery wasn't all about flamboyance and show. His gun in hand and life and stake, he knew this wasn't an easy battle. To fight.

Liberty was merely a statue.

She fought her own battles as well. It is the Cause the Cause his soul. To wait in growing apprehension and dread when she caught the local news. When the remote controlled her life, for a flick of the channel would have made that difference.

The old Polaroid in that silver frame of happy memories; her almond eyes a shy gaze as his boisterous laughter permeates that entire square of Perpetual. Their second year, with that ever faithful run down apartment in the background. Aching heart, heavy with burden. Longing fingers, the sliver of metal with intertwined hearts and a lone diamond.

The third year never came.

He fought, but what did he fight for?

Happy Birthday November People! (:
Li Xin Bei whom I secretly stalked and surprised, super delayed because WOMAN got home at happening twilight time hahaha. (:
My MUMMY (: Whom I got Japanese cheesecake, cookies, and Chinese takeaway for dinner that night.
FTJ (: Even though technically I didn't do much but I HOPE he has a good birthday tomorrow!

Alright, this was a fabulous weekend aye. In celebration of the end of my deadlines (even though this also means exams are coming BUTTTT heck) I er, didn't study this week haha :/ In fact, this week I was rather elated because:
1) End of many tutorials WOO which also means it will FORCE me to study during break, instead of walking aimlessly around campus and browsing num slippers omg
2) No more Malay ad hoc projeks! Yay
3) I watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs with Becks Erika and Friend. Which was rather unexpectedly good. Because of the underlying themes of parental acceptance, a la Enemy of the People and cute gummy bears! FOOD MOVIE, I like.
4) I went for CG! Very fruitful sharing PLUS i got a ride home too.
5) I went for FUEL! Heart AVERYBAHDEE there, including the dinner at heartland shop with Salameh and Eun and Fran (:

Today I woke up at an ungodly hour and took the slowest bus on earth to sekolah for ushering. Event? KUMON HONOURS ROLL. Haha, adorable children including the boy whose teeth was momentarily stuck in the zip that he was chewing on. Ended earlier than I thought, so went to meet Mr Foo and I seriously didn't know what we were both doing after our exhausting walking intensive week but we walked so much because Subway was crowded ttm haha, omg I think my pedometer would have reset a couple of times la.
Today was good (:

And of course, the only time I chose to sleep in for awhile during the weekend, and I can't because guess what - the ampitheatre decides to host some PERCUSSIONS performance with exceptionally LOUD and BOOMZ guys screaming their hearts out like merantau warriors so I woke up very grumpy.

K, Imma go grab some grub now before I hit the shit that is lit. Haha.

I step into the darkness, or else the light.
I trudge like a man along a path, not knowing where he is going.
Events that stand for something else.
After an overload of ambiguity in unsalvagable papers, I am now saturated with PS and EN content - a weekend burnt doing what I'm relegated to for the rest of my uni life. I realise I didn't submit my turnitin receipt today, I am so smart sometimes which means I gotta resubmit tomorrow after lecture.
Entirely exhuasted I kid you not - an entire week of late nights past 1am, and full days in school.
Freedom freedom, but in its limited enjoyment for it signals the coming of bloody exams.

I yearn to cycle and release colourful balloons into the air, the way a caged bird yearns for its flight of fancy. Pick strawberries from the fields of forever, blow dandelions to tell time, a tea party with Alice in Wonderland and hide and seek with Amelia Jane. To the soundtrack of Trading Yesterday. December 4th, come quick I say.

yuppie sandwich at yuppie hangouts

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