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Jocelyn A. Monique
is currently an undergraduate student, and coping with her Today.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
1:29 AM
Today I felt happy, I felt close and connected, the buzz and rush that comes when you are (always) in the presence of God. Thought I could never reclaim that way you feel when you have morning masses in CJC, but I felt it in a certain university during campus mass. It's nice to know that no matter how much we desert him, he never forsakes us. That the more we try to run away so much, the irony remains that we draw nearer. That telling ourselves that we won't dig ourselves the same old hole, doesn't matter now because our focus will remain.
I kept telling myself that I didn't want to do this, that I had enough and was over, that 12 years of this was already pushing the limit -get up, get out, get a life, try something new.
Here I am.
Right where you left me, thought I'd never come back. Thought I'd enough of commitments, running around like an engineered clock. Here I am, running back to you, with your arms wide open, waiting for me.
Waiting, in your promise. My promise.
I'm thankful, you know how I am when it comes to personal prayers - I'm touched that you answered.
Thank you.
I pray for you my dear friend - that in this uncertainty you can find His peace in your heart. I learnt in EN lecture that we humans always desire and hunger for this need to know, to comprehend, attach meaning to things. But the True Romantic finds content in being in that gray area - of not knowing and yet, being perfectly at ease. Maybe life's like that too - be happy not knowing. It's surprising that way too.
.
:)
Have a good Orientation, CJC. Miss you like hell crazy.
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