A voice was heard in Ramah.

This cat is HDB approved.

this isn't going anywhere

Sunday, February 28, 2010

1:12 PM

Screaming doesn't solve the problem, but sometime it makes you feel better.

I finally got me ass down to writing that doggone essay, matey. >:/ After fretting and thinking that I have absolutely nothing substantial and no relevant intellectual quotes, I have managed a BS-worthy

1, 011.

That is a feat (clap clap). On the downside, attempting to work on a paper in 3 hours is a terrible thing to do, alas my back screamed MehCee and I was really quite drained thereafter, had to ask friends to proofread despite my conclusion-less state. I have Le Horror that is Mid-terms starting tomorrow and was just unfortunately informed that the test covers videos in lectures as well. Alas, all I can remember are the sadly redundant things like the PigeonImpossible clip and the TechnoBreak questions. Woewoewoe.

Things are a little better now, despite being wary I suppose - at least I'm happy it's normal-ler than what it was. :) Jocelyn sucks. She doesn't even know how to throw a tantrum. FAIL.

I am lazy and feel like missing ceegee this week. I know CM will vaporize me if she decides to go and I PS. Haha. So Much Work :/ Need to really start on things proper.

I will now attempt to hypnotise my NM lectures into embedding themselves in jpeg format in my brain. 35% is insane, if I were to think of switching major I better, do, well, like seriously.

P.S Always thought that girls were more complicated but it seems there's competition. Stupid Y chromosomes.

i'm on a boat

Thursday, February 25, 2010

12:43 PM

What a week man. Sleep habits are officially not good, after one night of no sleep and then another night of 7 hours, then another night of 5. Yay me, I really really need to get some discipline.

The horror of the project is finally OVER, what a time it was trying to edit and reedit the word count, what with phantom members and dropping of modules :( Guess God must think I'm made of steel of something.

We had CG yesterday - it was pretty relevant for me seeing as how I was pretty worried about everything but usually God makes it okay :) Afraid I have no deep spiritual input with me, just that I was pretty jaded on Monday night thinking about everything and then total turnabout on Wednesday. Makes me feel superficial at times when Faith can only be reaffirmed by a happy ending.

Things are pretty strange now, I never thought of it that way but along comes someone to put things into perspective. I should really watch what I say next time, and how often I say it.

Note to God: Please don't grant me all that I wish for - especially if it's stupid.

Another project, 2 essays, 1 presentation, and 3 midterms coming right up.

Go, Jocelyn.

so then i was like

Sunday, February 21, 2010

7:36 PM

I always have this wild imagination of mine - for NUS to be Hogwarts. I wish we could zoom in our Firebolts (Nimbus for me because I'm a girl on a budget), avoiding the ERP gantries, and shouting "In your face!" at the insane morning traffic on the AYE and PIE. If only Clementi were Hogsmeade, to walk around and buying Butterbeer, plenty of yummy chocolate frogs and nibbling on beans during lectures.

I guess one consolation why NUS ISN'T Hogwarts is because steps are a super hazard, let along moving staircases. I wouldn't mean having a snowy owl though, so that it can fly to the Deck and get me my Mocha (secret to staying awake because I don't like normal coffee, yes atas I know).

Yesterday was an emotionally terrible day - all I can do is sit and cry and cry and cry. Did I mention cry? Because I am hopeless sometimes and feel awfully desolate. Praise be that TODAY was so much better after going for mass. Managed to get two things done - now I gotta be studying my ass for the mid term test on Tuesday before having project discussion later tonight.

Sigh, me is productivity personified. Or not.

I am tutoring this week! I really hope I can manage.

Friday, February 19, 2010

6:26 PM

I went to watch Bright Star today - an arts movie on the life of Keats - with the EN3227 people. Kindly sponsored by our dear lecturer/tutor :) It was pretty depressing (all Romantic poets' lives are standard sad) and talking to Daryl thereafter had the similar effect of somewhat making me feel, a little inferior. I half suspect I may be one of those "frivolous little creatures" who walk around pretending that they are a Lit major when in essence I have the intellectual capacity of a peanut.

I feel like this week I haven't been really studying, apart from trying to finish up random projects and read random stuff.

This made me laugh yesterday:

" When I was young I thought that the zoo closes earlier so that they can move the animals to the night safari before it opens!" -Kathleen

Thursday, February 18, 2010

11:57 PM

God in His infinite goodness sometimes sees fit to test our courage and love by depriving us of the things which it seems to us would be advantageous to our souls; and if He finds us earnest in their pursuit, yet humble, tranquil and resigned to do without them if He wishes us to, He will give us more blessings than we should have had in the possession of what we craved.

-- St. Philip Neri

One small step for Moss, and one giant leap for Mossykind.

rant

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

11:10 PM

because there's only less than an hour left before we should all strive to be (more) Christ-like (than we already are) and bow not to temptations, let me just say -

WHAT THE FUCK.

1) I have no idea wtf my EN3227 questions are asking.

“The overreacher is an important figure and symbol for English Romantic writing.” (Be aware that this question, if chosen, is going to make you think v. hard about how to fulfill the ‘poet’ requirement –‘Rime’ is an obvious choice, but ‘transgressor’ is not necessarily an ‘overreacher’ even though an ‘overreacher’ is always a transgressor of sorts…)

like it's already not bad enough, I didn't even know when it was due until I had to text Daryl. AND, guess what, I have ZERO on me. NOTHING. NADA. Fuck. Seriously, I don't even know who to consult ;( and I'm supposed to have an outline soon?

2) NM Project. WTF. It's going to be Wednesday tomorrow and I haven't gotten started. God I know you trust me and love me alot but can we please hold the horses on my capacity to multi task. Like it's already not bad enough that I'm working part-time AND there's a shepherd meeting which I obviously can't attend, how am I supposed to fit in an online meeting?! OMG. Hyperventilating.

3) Did I mention it's ASH WEDNESDAY as well?! OMG, I can't go for mass?!

4) IvanWHORE. Scott is bloody boring my ass off, I keep falling asleep/distracted every 7 pages because he wants to TALK SO DAMN MUCH about the stupid descriptions.

5) Omg, this break is turning out worse than I thought it'd be. So much for trying to catch up.

6) Soci newspaper article, where oh where have you disappeared to ):

I AM SO SCREWED. Well done, Jocelyn. What I would like right now, is for a sensible person/friend/stranger that I'm comfortable with to give me a nice HUG and tell me it's all going to work out. Before I die an premature death.

help me.

P.S Taylor Swift, you broke many a boy's heart with your airhead performance. I'm pretty sure you're alot more smarter than what the role portrayed you to be, I just wish Hollywood wouldn't easily stereotype roles just because it's a celebrity appearance etc.

semi-inspired postings

Monday, February 15, 2010

12:24 PM

Week 5 was insane. I am so glad it's over, along with the big bang weekend of CNY and Valentine's Day. Week 5 was insane, for the reasons stated below:

1) An exceptionally rushed presentation/discussion for EN tutorial - despite my pushing for meetups and compilations but of course, lit majors being lit majors, nothing was done and panic ensured (for at least two of us) 1 hour leading to tutorial. I was honestly so super duperbly annoyed but according to Mel Chue, the discussion was actually interactive and organised so I hope the lecturer thinks likewise.

2) I slept pretty late. I know, it's morphing into a horrible habit as of late(pun unintended) and even Abel and Daryl have pointed it out that I should be sleeping early. It's not like I am even vaguely productive. Sigh.

3) Week 5 was Le Week of getting started on the numerous projects that await - NM survey, EN mid-terms, EN presentation on Ivanhoe (Ivanwhore because it's a ridiculously thick book oh why oh why) and our SSA fieldtrip report.

4) 5th week of not attending Fuel. I am rather upset with myself over this matter, for failing to honour even the most basic of commitments. I have no idea why my Fridays are so insanely hapz -even if I don't make plans, plans are made for me that kind of thing.

However, I did enjoy Week 5 because:

1) It was the week before mid term break! How not to enjoy I ask you. The pseud0 feeling of abandon and partial negligence because you still have 1 week to save your sorry ass.

2) We visited Haw Par Villa - this sad excuse for a "cultural tourist attraction". Albeit the complete lack of human inhabitation and the humidity of the ethnic sun, walking around aimlessly was rather enjoyable too. And wouldn't you know, I forgot my SD card so I had to run to Mel's room to grab her camera (very distraught and dramatic run)

3) CAW <3>

4) Pepe's farewell on Friday -lovely Japanese dinner (too much MSG I suspect though, we were horribly thirsty), failed jump shots in a public location (who cares right, we are not 20 yet) and waiting for the girls to try on new clothes. Best fun I've had in a long while with the familiarity of old faces.

So I guess week 5 wasn't so bad after all, because for every shadow there's a sunny spot of sunlight. Now if only I were semi inspired to start on my works of the week. Weekend just zoomed past, major irony considering I don't even celebrate. I drove around Seletar yesterday though under supervision and I had a lovely view of clouds. Sorry Wordsworth, clouds are never lonely. They are highly sociable beings, because they always seem to be having company.

I also just wiped and cleaned my laptop (i.e Harry Potter). Harry smells of Dettol now and my fingers feel smudgy like disinfectant. I think Harry is deeply thankful that I decided to invest some time in him after negligence. Gosh I should never have children.

Alright, have a good mid-term break people.

Raindrops

Saturday, February 06, 2010

10:41 PM

Pretty hard week, considering the attack I got on my nerves so far. Started the week in a flurry of panic since I didn't manage to watch The Seven Year Itch on Monday and tutorial the next day, and lecturer apparently borrowed it too :| Was really panicking because I don't like to go to a class totally unprepared (this sem seems unbullable sadly) so I guess really have to thank JK for helping me stream it onto laptop so I had to go over to watch it. @__@ really sleepy and was inwardly groaning high opportunity costs (always feel guilty).

Okay, I guess my lecturer for EN isn't that scary after all - but she does place alot of emphasis on assignments so I guess I was panicking again last night because I couldn't remember when my 3000 word essay was due. I also vaguely remember something about a test either this/next week I AM SO SCREWED ;( I feel like no matter what I study or how much, it's just not syncing.

Guess God lets us know that we can always turn to Him whenever the going gets tough - he's been placing small little reminders from lovely friends whenever I feel like crying. Thanks D for the lovely email it made me laugh :) Was feeling pretty miffed about how meeting turned out, so much for work ethics. Thankfully it didn't turn out to be a wasted trip because things were actually discussed. Dinner was awesome too, first time eating out with the bunch of them - pretty eventful car trip with poor Potato squashed without space.

CG was pretty ineffective for me this week since I admit, I was a wuss and didn't want to share much. But what do you know, in the end I still ended up talking about what was bugging me to D. Dinner was nice too, pretty much testing the BeepBeep theory on unsuspecting souls but in the end my bubble burst on Friday when Shankar refuted it very calmly.

"Life is too short, don't take it too seriously"

I think as I grow older, my humour does too. Not the funny person anymore I'm afraid.

But I guess I really have to DEAL with things now, since I'm all grown up and learn how to take charge of situations sometimes.

Orientation was pretty nice going back for! (: Reached CJC with WQ and we were randomly walking around Quadrangle bumping into juniors and council teachers before heading down to visit Co-op Aunty who engaged us in the perils of University. Gosh, how I miss the CJC Canteen - it's really a timeless experience sitting there lepaking and being half mindful of the "toot, toot, toot" bell. Timeless because we lose track of time just talking over our bi-fruit juices and chocolate rolls (Deli aunty remembered my order was very impressed). Saw Miss Yang as well. Before heading upstairs to watch Finale Afternoon/Evening. Despite the drowning ringing in my ears, felt really at home sitting down, listening to Maj's familiar rants, Cherie's hyperlameable self ("Omg I can SMELL their sweat! OYA. OHNO") and walking around to the toilets and the very freezing LT5/6 (can't remember). No matter how much older I get, I think this place will have a special place in my heart. We learnt about symbolic interactionism in school this week and it's true - people do attach meanings to places and things. For me, that's CJC. I can't possibly imagine myself elsewhere. Too much memories here, lovely, some sad, but mostly good.

Was actually having a deep conversation with a friend about about "aren't you a little old to be going back" and stuff. Part of me was angry at first, after all, to each her own and if I'm patriotic to my school so be it. Then I decided to be more rational about the matter and I realised, my whole life I've been pledging my loyalty to organisations - first IJ Council, then CJC, then CJC33rd and CA. My life is basically defined by the groups of people. And I was a little afraid I guess. Seems like there's not much of a real me. Is there? I don't know.

I have no idea where my future is headed too, much less the things I'm involved in uni. God help me make sense. And Jac, please interceed. :) Lovely house and family you have btw.

In all this pray, Amen.