want one, get one

Now you're acing it as usual, in an entirely new community in a different time zone, with the support of people who probably just got acquainted with you, I'm watching your video, and you still inspire me with your confidence, the poise, the strut and the overwhelming support from the audience.

It just makes a feel, a little, well, inadequate sometimes - with my probably local degree, lack of CCA, another face in the crowd while you're the one that faces the crowd every day.

We're miles apart, and it just sometimes get me thinking,

am I really happy with the way things are? Or is there perhaps, a higher purpose, a nobler cause and greater calling to which I'm either indifferent, or unaware of.

I wish I didn't have such inertia, reluctance to embrace a new horizon, instead I'm a bigfatwuss.

I bet your holidays are more exciting than me, you probably have a jetsetting lifestyle, attending those bigass conferences, meeting other brilliant people, stellar results, stunning presentations, and the vibrancy of your life makes mine pale in comparison.

(pasture's always greener on the other side)

I wish I could just stop comparing and be grateful, but sometimes things like that really stops me in my track. This is the part where you expect me to say, Oh, but at least I'm always near to my friends, and get to eat local food, and be near my family, but well - I just think,

what if I'm not here, but somewhere else?

Would I still be the same person I am.

Just thinking out aloud.