want one, get one

Or waking up to a beautiful sunrise/sunset.

The heartland noises from the bustle of the void deck, with gambling dens, kebayarobics, karoake.

English speaking neighbours.

Food exchanges during Christmas.

The little grandsons next door who play ping pong.

Opening up the cabinets to read a book the whole day.

Talking to my mom in the tiny kitchen.

Dusty study area.

The altar wall that was repainted so many times.

Library next door.

Walking to the MRT/market/church.

Feels like I'm leaving a part of me here - my brother often says he believes there's a soul in each house. I guess there are many memories, since so much effort was put into it. It's sad and nostalgic of course, for this won't be the final change, but I guess sometimes when the going gets tough, I should act tough and keep going.

The new one is really smaller and less accessible, no more dramatic views, plus problem with punctuality means I foresee many hurried moments when school reopens. No more random encounters with old friends then. Plus the neighbour seems to have conquered more than the obligated stretch of corridor.

Oh well. Hold on until it's over.

Work's a bore. I feel really guilty when I have to key in stuff, so unethical the way hundreds of animals are slaughtered each day at different places in different parts of the world. Colleagues have an admirable work ethic, it's almost like they bunk in overnight cos they never seem to leave the pigeon hole and hardly eat/take breaks. Insane shit, the work is never ending, and I'm the only temp around. Plus Chinese speaking environment 24/7.

Despatch is the only time when I feel free. Nice to talk a walk/cab all by myself into places I've never had the chance to visit. I'm at Raffles Place almost thrice a week and the food there is pretty awesome, albeit more expensive.

This week really tired me out! My. Slept a hell lot over the weekend and before you know it it's Sunday. ):

Wish I had more money and more time to go out, instead of being stuck in a shithole.

Can't wait for everything to be over! ): but that would also mean school wd be starting.

I miss my CA friends, specifically.

I wish I didn't get myself into the situation, as I pointed it out to myself, I am not fated for anykind of definite-ness in my life. It's a huge mess, and this week has been the epitome of it.

Thank you girlfriends for always being by my side, when I am at my awful needy and emotionally dependent moments.

I went to bed happy and content last night, knowing that God will be with me through it all, and tonight I feel absoutely deflated of all hope.

Mood swings.

Why is it always so complicated?

finally got down to things after dragging my feet after an eon, inertia will be the death of me.

i disgust myself sometimes, on my complete lack of a backbone. always relying on others to relay information and asking for advice, when it's obvious what i'm supposed to do.

so that was a small step for moss, and a giant leap for mankind.

studying is a bitch and i know her personally. i cannot remember when was my last weekend that i spent that was NOT squinting at times new roman 12. this is atrocious. but i needa grit my teeth and wait for less than 48 hours to pass, because freedom awaits at 1500. too bad i haven't studied completely, revision is a snail and i think by the time i'm done even my grandson also ord.

(RAH)

when i think of css the first thing that comes to mind is the carride(s). usually strapped and directly behind driver. today was the same and first time in history honours room! (: i feel very motivated to do honours if only i could redeem an otherwise unsalvagable cap.

i must have hope.

yawn, i'm so tired that i didn't even other editing this properly. ikr, malas ttm.

kk, seems like i need some sleep after the trauma today.

ciao~

edit: i have awesome friends (: