want one, get one

FOC was a blast, really and truly. I'm thankful to so many people who made it possible, from the uncertainty that haunted me since I stepped up as a Facilitator, right up to the main comm, co-facils and friends who been there for me (:

I went in feeling very angry, cranky and upset because of some residue matters - but I came out feeling refreshed and really energized. Prayers were answered in the form of a beautiful OG who were open to sharing and really enthusiastic about games - freshies, councillors, co-facils and main commers. Really enjoyed myself - be it playing crazy watermelon and wet sponges games, asking questions about my faith and even the stunned rabbit mania we got up to. FOC has really made me forge new friends that I typically won't get to see around, and I hope this is the start of something beautiful as well.

Jonah <3

Although I sleep and wake up at the same times everyday I still feel this severe lack of a sleep deficit and everyone I've spoken to attributes it to my veryvery busy schedule slaving for a employer I feel no loyalty to, making a difference to a kid's life who probably won't remember me when he grows up and finally, doing nonsense things like going on despatch to ulu-fied places. There was this occasion when I really didn't know where the cab was headed and I had to call D to ask for directions ( because I knew he was slacking at work). I'd hate to be cooped up in an office job when I'm old(er), unless I can really find meaning in what I do - I guess the glamour appeals to people when they talk about Shenton way and client meets in flashy pencil skirts and formal wear. But if you look beyond the surface you'd ask yourself: do you really want to spend about 5-7 years feeling empty and void for 8 hours everyday?

I don't know. (need to ask my parents how they do it)

I also feel the inconvenience of my recurring mood swings and I hope it doesn't rear its ugly head during the crucial 4 days (large intake of breath). I know I have two awesome co-facils I can rely on but at the same time I want to give it my all too. Daryl says I don't have a social obligation to do things and he always semi-chides me for pushing myself too hard, but I always have this inner gnawing:
If I don't do it, who will? (typical Indian housewife mentality)

Speaking of which, FOC is really going to be an experience: old friends are coming back, new juniors coming in, and the usual suspects too - all at the same time and place. I hope I can make enough time for everyone and more importantly don't get too emotional when I share.

(Tired)

This weekend was packed too: Friday was outing with the fantastic four, Saturday was thanksgiving CG and dinner, and today was spent with co-facils and friendly befrienders.

I am excited, apprehensive, scared and worried at the same time.

OKAY I SHLD REALLY PACK MY BAG BEFORE I REGRET TMR MORNING WHEN I LEAVE FOR WORK+TUTOR and go to school. WHY AM I SO LAST MINUTE @)#(@UE$.

See? Mood swings.

last weekend:

i went with kathy on friday to tan at sentosa, then stayed over at hard rock hotel with the family. pretty neat interior, i like the all the rock themes and such, although an open concept for the shower needs some getting used to. walking ard resort world, had the feeling of escapism for it seemed someplace else. saturday morning to a buffet spread, and being late for the zoo trip - with daryl, andrew and carmen. more tanned, and a virgin fish spa experience.

this weekend:

friday night at church to drop by retreat, saw some old faces. then dinner at mcc with the cjc-ians: it was nice to see people whom i've haven't seen since last year perhaps, then for supper afterwards and heartfelt conversations. saturday i woke up and got my new bicycle, first trip was from tpy to amk steady la. then off for kite flying with css people at sk with kathy before rushrush over to HS for outreach, madddrush to get the posters and zoom to maj's car before she drove us over. met rachel (ntu) and it was so nice to see her after the random encounter in school ages ago! got a ride back home. then sunday it was lunch with guin and foo and mild shopping before going home and heading out again to the vines (:

i'm so tired that i'm not even using caps to start my sentences, now i'm attempting to pack my bag for camp tmr (missing mug and magazines) and i hope my sleeping bag will arrive in time haha (: providence ftw.

after the respite from the werkenglock, it's sad to know i'd be at the desk in a few days. but i guess i must be thankful for the company of good friends and the joy of seeing each other.

today's homily was quite enlightening- on suffering and how it had a redemptive quality. i'm making it a point to remember keynotes now so that i can help explain it to sister dearest. one more for the faith is heart warming and i hope i can journey together if possible.

wish money would fall from the sky at the rate i'm spending > earning, need to plan more budget trips (:

right now, i feel optimistic about the world and want to be there for everyone - dear worries, pls go away i'd deal with you another time.

pray for me!

xoxo