want one, get one

Although I sleep and wake up at the same times everyday I still feel this severe lack of a sleep deficit and everyone I've spoken to attributes it to my veryvery busy schedule slaving for a employer I feel no loyalty to, making a difference to a kid's life who probably won't remember me when he grows up and finally, doing nonsense things like going on despatch to ulu-fied places. There was this occasion when I really didn't know where the cab was headed and I had to call D to ask for directions ( because I knew he was slacking at work). I'd hate to be cooped up in an office job when I'm old(er), unless I can really find meaning in what I do - I guess the glamour appeals to people when they talk about Shenton way and client meets in flashy pencil skirts and formal wear. But if you look beyond the surface you'd ask yourself: do you really want to spend about 5-7 years feeling empty and void for 8 hours everyday?

I don't know. (need to ask my parents how they do it)

I also feel the inconvenience of my recurring mood swings and I hope it doesn't rear its ugly head during the crucial 4 days (large intake of breath). I know I have two awesome co-facils I can rely on but at the same time I want to give it my all too. Daryl says I don't have a social obligation to do things and he always semi-chides me for pushing myself too hard, but I always have this inner gnawing:
If I don't do it, who will? (typical Indian housewife mentality)

Speaking of which, FOC is really going to be an experience: old friends are coming back, new juniors coming in, and the usual suspects too - all at the same time and place. I hope I can make enough time for everyone and more importantly don't get too emotional when I share.

(Tired)

This weekend was packed too: Friday was outing with the fantastic four, Saturday was thanksgiving CG and dinner, and today was spent with co-facils and friendly befrienders.

I am excited, apprehensive, scared and worried at the same time.

OKAY I SHLD REALLY PACK MY BAG BEFORE I REGRET TMR MORNING WHEN I LEAVE FOR WORK+TUTOR and go to school. WHY AM I SO LAST MINUTE @)#(@UE$.

See? Mood swings.