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is currently an undergraduate student, and coping with her overwhelming commitments. I like long walks in solitude, cosy chats, usually sleep like a log, and beg your patience in tolerating my versatile humour

I had quite a number of funny conversations this week and I just had to type it down because I am an attention seeker it's memorable.

Ngee Derk: (while talking) Omg I think my zippers' undone.

Daryl: (in response to my whining that my new school route was mothering long): Well, mothering is quite a long process after all.

I am (wait for it) arguing with Sash right now about the success of Mani Ratnam's new movie Raavanan -he's assertive that it wasn't a good movie while I beg to differ. Coincidentally we also watched the same movie yesterday even though we were in different time zones.

Bidding is a pain seriously I hate that I have to go through this but I can't complain when I have awesome people to rely on, like Jerome haha who has endless patience (are you reading this? :P)

Now for fingers crossed and hope that I don't land a five day week.

Because I am tired and lazy here is a simple list of what happened this week:
Monday:
I didn't do anything. Oh I tutored. Then I went to church for 10:10 planning and logistic hunting.

Tuesday:
Terrible day actually. I cycled to the library and it rained jaguars and panthers halfway, meaning my bicycle was drenched in horrible rainwater and I was semi stranded in Bishan. To top it all off, my phone died because I didn't charge it and I had to find a public phone. I borrowed some interesting books to read which I haven't gotten down to reading. But the recipe book is definitely interesting, cola muffins sound like a novelty! In the evening I had a quiet class dinner with the girls - Kathy Seren Ming Deb and Arthurboy- at Chompchomp! Proud of myself for walking to my place to Gardens without getting lost. Even though I took the bus on the wrong side home thereafter. Good food and good conversations, catching up with the JC bunch is good stuff.

Wednesday:
OG gathering to bake Cheesecake (: Pictures on FB. I was little angsty in the morning but it was all cleared up. I seem to be in the East pretty often now.

Thursday: Longest day of the week that left me pretty exhuasted! Woke up a little late so had to cab over to NUS for Matriculation - was at CSS booth with old uncle helping out. Saw familiar faces! No free stuff given out for seniors though, except the awesome Lemon Tea and Passionfruit. Then had to rush over to watch movie (Inception was too long so we watched Sorcerer's Apprentice instead we were both so sad!) but it turned out pretty okay for a Disney cliche. Trend of geek getting the girl these days. Then off to tutor the little boy, before a miracle happened. in the form of a text message (: Meaning I could actually BE at followup! I was so happy I was kind of semi indifferent to the pain of the travelling time it took me to get there. James was nice enough to walk me to the place somemore! Great cheesecake man (: I actually thought it'd be a lot sweeter, judging the way dear Scully dumped the sugar using his engineering proficiency but it was great.

Friday: Church at night and listening to the kiddos rant about lessons and teachers amused me and made me think about my old times.

Today the aircon men arrived! Which means we finally get aircon. My room doesn't have aircon though that's so sad it's the warmest room in the house.
Nvm it's not like I sleep well in aircon I'd just sneak in the other room if I need to study.
Speaking of which, school is starting soon and I'm kind of semi sad about it because it means the whirlwind starts again.
This semester I pray for better decisions, less distractions and more time management.

The weekend was really tiring - CJC J2 Retreat + CSS AGM.
Both very refreshing and fulfilling in its own way.
CJC was nostalgic, I penned down many thoughts (555 notebook haha) at night right before I attempted to sleep. On a very hard LT floor with the girls. It's sort of an indescribable feeling to be connected and yet so detached at the same time. This must be the sort of feeling you get from reliving a memory - when you go back through a vacuum in time and you sense your former self running along those corridors and it's you, but it's not quite, you.
I touched those banisters and I felt the same pride, the same love, depression, nostalgia and pain all at the same time. I did many things that I would have done two years back - the same view from the quadrangle, the canteen (which has been newly renovated with name changes), the cave, the student council room, the classrooms where 1T15 used to be. Hovering in front of the giant mirrors, rushing to toilets, standing by the cooler, stopping to see the honour roll.
It was a bittersweet moment, its its own way.
I felt God too. (: I guess it must have been the immersion of the Catholic environment after all the secularity that has been imposed. Taking the comic walk and the labyrinth walk made me arrive at a decision and I was happy for it, but talking to the teachers and heading over to St. Teresa's church made me more confused than I already was.
I wish I was more decisive.
I didn't fancy the pressure of the room at all, actually. Stifling and suffocating. I resorted to prowling the grounds instead, avoiding contact and confiding specifically. Glad to say the drama ended well. I am happy for the 7 (minority ruling I like).
Dinner at Macdonald's - goes to show how a little decision can be articulated and conformed to if the hour is late and the stomachs are hungry.
One night on, and still the haze of discernment. Today's Gospel spoke: "there are many things in your life you worry about. But you need not worry about them at all. Only one". But what if the one leads to many? Can of worms, I'd say.
Praying to be more open to signs because I am a decision-making wuss and I let my surroundings speak to me instead of asserting myself for once.

Nevermind, this too, shall pass.

I decided to blog because I cannot calculate my new pay by distance fares on the webbie, it's a huge conspiracy by Them to keep us in the dark. Either that, or Google betrayed me.
I know everyone is like, uncomfortable right now. Including no 2 who rationalised with me the whole "God's plan is Your plan". And just got a fresh word of advice "you deserve to be slapped", in all honesty.
Okay, still haven't discerned fully either. Had to text Apy last night after all the drama, nice of him to be patient.
I baked banana chocolate cake yesterday (: So happy with the latest batch, the interior is all moist and the natural flavour of the banana makes it sweet. Plus the fragrance of the cocoa powder.

My life damn drama.
I mean, the weekend for one thing was packed - with overseas relatives (brought them around Singapore, ate out, shopping, travelling) AND THEN CA Gathering at Marie's, World Cup Finale (ZZZZ). And my parents forgot to pick me up -_- Thank goodness I called them.
Came home and Monday it was OG Kbox funkytime and church at night with brother Joel haha.
Tuesday was tumbler trip with Kathy around the whole of CBD and I had no yields because I am so picky and obsessively fussy. However, I did enjoy my yummy carb fill of Marche bread and black sugar milk tea for 90 cents.

Getting very irritated because of the recurrent debates about Work Vs Holidays. I don't understand why you have to be so worked up at my severe lack of productivity, I mean why not you drop an email to NUS questioning them about the duration of the holiday. SHEESH. SERIOUSLY.

I wish Derk and Sash were around to knock some sense into me.

I've gotten to like my new residence pretty much. Although it ranks low on transport and safety, it's a cosy little enclave in its own way. First of all, most of my neighbours are working, middle-class nuclear families. I know this because when I look out my kitchen window on a weekday nobody hangs their clothes out. Instead, all us average heartlanders - we probably wake up early to wait for a crowded peak hour bus to the MRT, and come home about 12 hours later to a hurried dinner (I know this because my view faces the kitchens of both neighbouring blocks) and repeat cycle until the Weekend. The Weekend is when the ah mas, ah peks and grand-relatives will visit or be visited and that's when the hawker centres and markets become SUPER crowded.

There is no lift on my floor. I highly dislike this because carrying your shiny new bicycle up and down is no joke, considering that I severely lack upper body strength. I also am very clumsy, I normally knock the back wheel of my bicycle (hard) whenever I try to contort its resting position within the puny lift.

There are two stray cats who frequent my flat, and more specifically my level. One is Twitch, she/he has a nice long tail that wags when happy and mews in response to whatever you say:
Are you hungry?
Meow.
Are you waiting for me?
Meow.
Are you injured because Ginger bit you?
Meow.
Speaking of which, Ginger is the other male cat and he comes to drink water. He is actually more aggressive than Twitch but he only fights as a last resort.

There is also a highly hyperactive boy who is still learning how to speak. He disturbs Twitch regularly but stops when 1) his mother screams 2) Twitch yowls.
He craves attention and I highly dislike this, but I try to tahan as much as I can.

The windows in my house remind me of my (maternal granny's place) -dark and frosted, while the little steps up to my gate bear the same resemblance. The kitchen is really huge (two sinks) and this just adds to my virgin noob love for baking. Ironically it is also very dark, you need the lights even in the day.

One plus point of my house is that you can get an uninterrupted night's sleep before the early alarm clock of the two strays yowling/drunken Chinese man spouting vulgarities next block, followed by my brother and then my handphone alarm. I haven't effectively attempted studying anything though, but I hope the general stillness won't distract me/lull me further to lala land.

I like to walk around my estate by myself, but lately this has fuelled my disgustingly spendthrift habits. Today I bought a baking tray, a nice rectangular one and I used it to bake my successful Butter Cake which turned out okay (I lavished on the butter and eggs this time). It's a little flaky though, I'm not sure what went wrong.

I went to visit Marina Bay Sands this week with Tings and KYP <3 Nice place, but will probably be my first and last trip there seeing as how one Manolo sets you back 1.6k MADNESS ttm.

In other news, I'm going to be UNEMPLOYED so I really need a new job that I can work at for 3-4 weeks ):
No cash, jocelyn sad.

Pretty shiok week, I'd say. Last week had a coupla off days, spent it on walking Marina and attending the awesome Fuel (had to wait 20 minutes for the poor SBS with Gerald who was nice enough to wait with me even though had 2 other buses home). Saturday was Giant Day where we blew a sponsored bomb on groceries and stocked up on food. I am a happy girl because my fridge has never looked so welcoming before.

This week I attempted a series of first. Mostly dinner plans I'd say was a little annoyed with how unplanned things were but shrug. Monday night with Nirasha with our dear old Indian food (she looked really corporate in her attire), Tuesday night with Joel my dear brotherhood - talking over dinner about life and the curveballs it throws us and the similar pressures we face all with a gentle scoop of nostalgic ice cream. So far this is one of the few real weeks of holidays I've had and I've nua-ed it away at library, cycling around and doing some soul-searching.

Thursday was the highlight though! (: UBIN with my dear old Jonah, God bless the taxi driver who charged me 7 dollars less. Cycle, summit, shore, lunch (overpriced nasi lemak with diluted sugarcane), bus, Balderdash YAY Jocelyn is a very happy girl.

And of course there was Friday ;)

I've never felt the call to serve a community as strong as I feel it now, not even in IJ or CJ although of course the yields of service far surpasses any superficial glory of the moment. I've talked to people about it as well, and so far Derk's/Mel's opinion resonates strongly with me that when one prays one should be free of any bias whatsoever. This is what I've been praying for too, and today I experienced that great sublime feeling of a completely blank canvas to do His will (: Sharing during Discernment was like coming full circle for me because I encountered the exact same passage during my previous CG and I had a different intrepretation for it.
It's kind of like the song from Jesus Christ Superstar: I don't know how to love Him.
Nope, not in that sense but more of a How Do I Serve Him. Of course I do feel the pressure to do this and that, but what's more important for me right now is to let go and let God. Because I am incapable of making sound decisions so I'm leaving everything in His hands.

On a side note, I baked butter cake (: and have an idea for CA gathering potluck. Need more recipe ideas! And gotta start reading some stuff before school starts argh.

Aiming
Beans
Carmen
Cereal Tossers
Deborah Faith
Hao Wen
Jacq
Joel
Marie
Ngee Derk
T Lo

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